17 December 2016

Doing it all.....

I have to admit I am in a constant battle with myself over if I am doing enough. If you were to ask anyone looking at my life, I'm sure they would tell you that I do way more then I think that I do. Even my oldest made a comment about that I try too hard to do it all. 

From September 2015- September 2016 I worked 2 jobs. Most weeks working 40-55 hours. Many weeks I worked closer to 60, and December of 15 I think I had at least 1 70 hour week. Yeah it was a lot. For the most part I was able to make it work. Once I went full time at one job it became harder to work both jobs. A lot of different reasons went into me just working one job in September. 

About a month ago I was offered another second job. It sounded like I could really work it out. I worked twice, and then things just kinda fell apart. I got a bad cold, and it was working with food and I was coughing so bad. Then the next week my daughter with Lupus ended up in the ER with shingles. I have chosen to say good to trying again. 

I have to admit I have a love hate with not working so many hours. I have more time at home. I love being with my kids. I can do more for them. Yet, I feel like no matter what I do it isn't enough. There simply isn't enough time to get done all that I want in a day. There is endless amounts of laundry, never ending dishes, fights to end, hug and kisses to give and of course the ever want of something else to eat. Then on top of all that is my need to just have some down time. 

This week coming up I have most of the week off as I have vacation time that needs to be taken. I am looking forward to the time home. I have high expectations of all that I can get done and I hope above all hope not to disappoint myself. But I probably will. I will have to learn to be ok with that....