21 November 2009

Fighting depression

I have learned some very hard lessons in my life when it comes to depression. These are my experiences.

Depression is self defeating.
Depression says I don't care how you feel about something, can't you see what it is doing to me.
Depression says I don't like this.
Depression says I can't see tomorrow so it must not exist.

Oh I have had plenty in my life to be depressed about.
I've lived through 3 divorces, open heart surgery, moves, a negative force in my life, loss of friends, loss of family relationships.

I've had my phone disconnected more times that I can count, had my electricity shut off, right now I'm facing eviction for our family of 9.

But I have been blessed....
I have a God who walks through the fire of testing with me.
I have a savior that knows what it feels like to be abandoned.
I have a husband who loves me.
My children are healthy and active.
I've been blessed to give birth in my own home.

I still fight depression. I have learned that the easiest way to let depression control me is sit and do nothing.

When you feel depression coming on... get up and do what needs to be done.

18 November 2009

Thanksgiving is coming....

As this Thanksgiving comes around I'm reminded of all the things I have to be thankful for this year. This year has been a year of trial and worry.

Sept of 08 My husband was laid off from his job that he had only had for 6 months. He has not been able to get another job.

But God has continued to supply all our needs.

Dan has had several people have him do some work for them for the cash we need at the time. People have paid bills, and we have found good deals on other bills.

We have been given a new to us van. That has been a real blessing. It is nice to drive.

Our old van still runs and gets us where we need to go.

Dan and I celebrated 17 years of marriage. I'm so thankful for my husband and his love.

More thankfulness tomorrow.

02 November 2009

My daughter has a blog....

Check out the story she wrote for a Superchick upcoming book. They sent her and email and it will be up on their website...

20 June 2009


i don't have time right now, but God is working so much in my heart. i am really looking forward to how God changes me to be a better wife to dan.

04 June 2009

give away

The Conservative Christian is having a giveaway.

03 June 2009

This effects all parents!!!!

There is a group trying to protect parents rights. There is a UN treaty that will basically let the government decide what is best for every child. They will have the right to step into a family and tell them how they can raise their kids.

Please visit Parental Rights.

A parent’s right to raise their children as they see fit is a time-honored American tradition, but today it is being threatened. The Supreme Court’s Troxel v. Granville decision in 2000 undermined a 75-year heritage of Constitutionally-protected, fundamental parental rights, which 8 of the 9 justices abandoned. At the same time, a growing body of international law fuels activist judges to legislate foreign standards from the American bench, while treaties such as the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child would subject parental decisions to government oversight and international review.

Rep. Pete Hoekstra (MI-2) has proposed HJR-42, the Parental Rights Amendment, to stop the erosion of parental rights in American courts while simultaneously defending our laws from international invasion. Please, visit parentalrights.org to learn more about the Amendment, and to join their email network by signing the petition to protect parental rights.

26 May 2009

Old Testament Law

I'm seeking more information on the use of Old Testament law in a Christian's life. I seem to be seeing a lot of people using verses from the law to apply to a Christian's life. I'm rather confused at to the purpose.

What I mean is it as an act of faith? Salvation? Good works? I am asking cause I really do want to understand.

19 May 2009


My husband Dan loves garage sales. They draw him in like a magnet. I can't complain cause we have gotten some nice things from them. The computer desk I'm sitting at is one of those things. We had been wanting a computer desk with a pull out drawer for the keyboard for some time. Dan found this one at a garage sale for $20.

When my little Lois was born last year, the only cloths I had for her were ones he had bought recently at garage sales. I was very thankful. I had gotten rid of all my baby girl cloths, as my youngest daughter at that point was 8. We just don't have the storage space.

This past weekend on the way home from Shane's double header, there were several garage sales. At one of those sales he picked up a Canon Power shot A400, for $10. While it is an older camera than the digital one I have now, the pictures are great! I was able to download the driver for it online, and ta-da- a new digital camera.

As I went looking for the driver for it, I happened across places that were selling the same camera for $49.99- $134.
Oh and I got a new pair of jeans for 50 cents. :)

15 May 2009

a mom of many....

I have to admit most days I love being a mom of many. I loves the smiles, giggles, the noise. The "I love you Mom," is the best.

There are days, mostly when I've not gotten enough sleep, that it gets overwhelming. Some of those days, I'm not so great a mom. I sit and don't do much. However, I often realize what is going on and I take a nap and find I'm much better.

This morning, I spent time hugging and tickling an almost 5 year old and a 3 year old. Those are the moments I live for.

I also love trying to wrestle with the boy who is almost 14. The idea is to get him knocked onto the couch. This is a task I'm more often these days finding myself on the losing end of. Yes, I admit, he is stronger than me. Maybe I should spend more time working out and less time sitting.

My older daughter, 12 going on 30. Yet there are so many moment you see her true heart. She does a wonderful job with her little brothers and baby sister, melts my heart.

The middle daughter. Fighting to find what she really enjoys. Still into Barbies, but wanting to hang out with big sister, who is just a little too much older to want to play the same things. Though still everyday they spend hours upon hours with each other. :)

The 7 year old boy. He's "idol"- Daddy. From what he wears, to his hair. Honestly I'm surprised he doesn't want his ear pierced like Daddy.

Last is baby girl. 7 months old, ready to go. Loves Mommy, Daddy and Biggest brother- in that order.

Yeah, there are days when 7 kids seem like so many. The personality's clash, but most days they play and interact so well. I'm really blessed to be their mom.

01 April 2009

The godliness of Jonathan

From a young girl I heard the stories of David and knew him to be (as scripture says) " a man after God's own heart." I knew how God had rejected Saul from being king. I knew of the friendship of David and Jonathan. I never realized what a godly man Jonathon was.

(1Sa 14:6)
And Jonathan said to the young man that bare his armor, Come, and let us go over unto the garrison of these uncircumcised: it may be that Jehovah will work for us; for there is no restraint to Jehovah to save by many or by few.

(1Sa 14:10)
But if they say thus, Come up unto us; then we will go up; for Jehovah hath delivered them into our hand: and this shall be the sign unto us.

If we continue to read chapter 14 we see that Jonathan and his armor bearer were able to fight a battle and win. Jonathan knew that there was nothing God couldn't do. He knew that God didn't need a huge army to win the battle.

He also showed amazing love towards David, the man that took what was in fact Jonathan's rightful place on the throne. Yet, Jonathan never let anger, or bitterness come between him and David.

(1Sa 18:1)
And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Jonathan could have gotten angry at his dad for blowing his chance at being king. He could have gotten angry at David for taking his spot.Yet as we look in scripture we see none of that. He stood by his father- fighting with him till the end. And we see him also protecting David till the end.

(1Sa 23:16)
And Jonathan, Saul's son, arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.

(1Sa 23:17)
And he said unto him, Fear not; for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.

23 March 2009

walking on faith

I'm struggling to know what that looks like.
I'm freaking out, I know I have to trust God. I just struggle to know what that looks like in my situation.

21 March 2009

What is true and real

A few years ago I received the book Loving God with all your Mind by Elizabeth George from my dear friend Tonia. this book has changed my life.
For years I've fought depression. (I still have my moments) but the words - whatever is true... think about such things Philippians 4:8 have brought me out of depression many many times. So much of what I allow myself to get depressed about are things that I have no control over, are things that yes, could, happen but are not happening. I'm slowly learning to think only on what is true, real and happening now.
Another area in which I get tripped up is on the stupid things I have said or done in the past. Thinking on those things change nothing. I can't go back and change it.
Lois is now 5 months old (ok well tomorrow the 18th), while I have had moments of depression and moments of being overwhelmed, the depression has not been like it is has been in the past. I've been able to get out quick, sometimes after a nap.
Well that is my lesson on depression for today.

20 March 2009

Mothering the detail orientated child

Ok, so my oldest child 13 going on 35, I mean 14 is a very detail orientated child. I've known this since he was little I admit. It was evident the day when he was 5 and was watching the Cubs game and had to walk out of the room for a couple minutes. Upon returning he asked what had happened. I replied oh so and so was up, and now there are 3 outs.
"Well, did he pop up? fly out? strike out? How did he get out?"
"Um, well," While I had watched I wasn't paying that much attention. I was not ready to give a play by play. I am not detail orientated. I prefer more general talk.

To me, don't hit your brother includes, not is not limited to, hitting, kicking, pinching, pushing, "taping", nudging, and general annoying of said brother. This does not mean that now other brothers are open season.

DO child needs it spelled out. If I say don't hit your brother he than push brother. When called on it, response is, "I didn't hit him, I pushed him." Ugh!

However this does make him a wonderful babysitter. He take great care of his younger siblings.

I'm not sure how we'll get through the next 4 years, but I know that God will guide me.

27 January 2009

On being a mom of many....

Ok, so I'll be honest, I don't often think of my 7 kids as a lot. Yes there are moments. Like when I'm counting them at the end of bible study to make sure I have everyone. (Hate the feeling that I'm missing someone even though I know I have counted right.)

As a mom of many I often get the same type of responses. The comment I hear the most is, "You have your hands full." I'm never really sure how to respond. After the fact I'll think oh I should have said this or that.

As I was thinking about this blog I saw the commercial where the dad is holding the new baby and says something like "...it's not just about me anymore, I'm there." Yep that is motherhood (really parenthood) in a nut shell.

Being a mom isn't about what I want it is about putting the needs (and wants) of someone else before me. I see this in the am when all I want is to sleep, but I can't sleep cause I have a 2 year old crawling all over me. Than it doesn't get better when I drag myself out of bed and can't even drink my coffee while it is still hot.

Yes, there are days when it is trying and hard to get all that needs to be done done. I'm so thankful for God's grace and mercy. I'm thankful that I have a husband who fully supports me and loves me and our children. He knows there are times I just need to cry or get away. Sometimes I just need a hot cup of coffee. :)

Do I have my hands full? Sure. There is very little time when all is just quiet and I'm not needed to do something or listen to someone. I couldn't imagine living without all the noise and activity. I love it.

16 January 2009

Little Blessings

Ok, so my mind is churning. I have several blogs floating in there. I have one that I'm sure will ruffle some feathers, but I'll leave that one for another day. Today I'm feeling thankful for so many little blessings that I think I shall share that.

As I sit and type there are several things going on around me that I'm thankful for.

I'll start with my computer. Hasn't God given men a great mind that someone thought this up, and built it. Than went on to keep changing it to the point that people can have them in their homes and they can all be connected. It has even gotten to the point that one can connect to the internet from a phone. I'm glad that I don't have a phone like that LOL. That would be dangerous for me.

Next, as I type my arms are full. I have a sleeping 2 1/2 month old baby girl in my arms. There are so many things I could type about her that I'm thankful for.

There are also 6 other kids that I could blog about. In fact I was just doing that. I've decided that I will take another day and blog about each one of them separate.

Sitting near me on my computer desk (that I'm also thankful for- as my hubby got it at a garage sale for just $20) is my cup of coffee. In my coffee is another of my thankful for things- chocolate. Not all that long ago I realized with these 2 simple things how much God loves us in the little things. Coffee and chocolate are not items that are needed in my life. They don't add to my faith, they don't add to my godliness, yet God has given them to me for my simple little pleasure.

In bed is my sleeping hubby. Again I'm sure I could go on and on about all the things I am thankful for about him, but the first thing that comes to my mind is that despite all my rough edges, despite the fact that I can't keep a house clean, despite the fact that I'm not model thin- he loves me. He enjoys being at home with me and the kids.

I guess while all those things are great, there is one thing I truly couldn't live without- God. The fact that He chose to send His son to die for our sins in of it's self is awesome.

As I'm thinking of that fact alone I'm reminded of a saying from a godly women I miss dearly. I heard her often say "The garden didn't take God by surprise. Jesus' death was not plan B."

His mercy, grace, forgiveness, strength have gotten me through times in my life that I couldn't go on.

Well I could go on, but I think I'll make another pot of coffee and read a book.

promoting another blog

First, I want to say I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to live in this time of the internet. It is so wonderful to be able to get information and hear from people that one wouldn't be able to normally hear from.

I married my wonderful husband Dan over 16 years ago. After we got married we attended the church we got married in. Several years after we got married the pastor that I had grown to enjoy moved on to another church. I always liked that the sermons were not milk, but meat. Yet the gospel was always there too.

That leads me to my promoting of another blog. I was very thankful to find out that there was a blog written by this pastor.

He as blogged about true miracles and being prepared. You can read it at... maxgrace.