28 July 2017

Today...

I am a single mom. I work 2 jobs. I had 1 full time job but honestly I find it better for my kids to work 2 jobs. One job has a consistent set of hours at 25 a week the other I can get anywhere from 12 to 18 or 20. Between both jobs I earn about as much as I did at my one full time job, maybe even a little more as I rarely got more than 37 hours at my full time job.

Wouldn't it be better to work 1 full time job? I don't think so, at least not for my situation. My steady hour job is early morning hours. My other job is evening hours. Most mornings I work, I am done by 10 am. I have worked 5 hours. A couple days a week I'll work 4-5 more hours. These hours let me be home in the afternoon and most nights allow me to be home by bedtime.
I can do lots of different things with my afternoons. My house is cleaner and could be even more, but I am choosing to be with my kids. This afternoon we are simply playing outside. The kids are running around. I just read a book to my little one. Yes, there is laundry to fold, but it can wait a few hours.

I have young kids, but I also have adult kids. My oldest got married a few weeks ago. It was such a blessing to be a part of that. Watch him grow from childhood to a husband. Yet I miss him being home.

I think of how short the time was now. I remember him as a baby. I was blessed to be home with him until he went to college. My little ones don't have that, so I have to make the most of what we do.

My “baby” is 4. She loves to wear dresses. When my 20 year old daughter was 4 she was the same way. These days she will still wear a dress, but not as often as her little sister. While the 4 year old will wear pants (or as the case of it being summer, short) they are almost always under a dress. It won't be much longer that she will want only dresses.

The time of influence we have on our kids is so short. Trying to balance work, home and kids can be hard. Often it is even harder to add that me time. All moms (and Dads) need time away. It is often even harder when you are a single parent. Although sometimes I get time off when the little ones are with their Dad. Those nights can be nice, but often miss my kids.

So today I will choose them. Today I will enjoy that I have laundry to fold. And dishes to do and toys on the floor, because the days are long but the years are short.

27 March 2017

and life continues

I have turned another year older.

My kids like to insist that I'm about 4 years younger

I'm at the age where others will say "yeah your 29 right?"

Honestly, I don't want to be that age again.

It isn't that I wouldn't want to be younger, thinner and whatever. I had a lot of great things happen between 29 and the age I am now,

But there was also a lot of hard lessons learned. Heartbreak, Loss.

I would not want to live through those again. Unless maybe I had the wisdom I do now and could change the way I handled the situations. But then the lessons wouldn't have been learned and I would be a different person then I am now.

I'm still learning and changing and growing. I'm still learning to be content with who I am. I still struggle with feeling lonely.

Yet there is a lot of good things that have come about. I have learned that it is ok that I am a sensitive person. It is ok that I take things personally. It is ok that I need space and need to be alone for a time to recharge. I am not broken. I am an INFP and it is ok.

04 January 2017

My new year

So yes, like many I have made New Years resolutions. Yes, one is to lose weight. The other is to quit smoking, for good. And yes, I'm trying to do both at once.

I want to lose 50-60 pounds. I had lost 35 a couple years ago when I went off plan after starting a second job. I had lost the weight using Trim Healthy Mama. When I was working just 1 job. When I started working 2, I totally started eating tons of drive through and really just anything fast. Many days I had maybe an hour between jobs and it would take almost 30 minutes due to traffic. I was also working sometimes 55-60 hours a week.

Today I work just one job, and that full time. I have a little more time to prep, but not much. Today was my day off and I took time to put some chicken in the crock pot with broth and will turn it into about 4 different soups (single serve) and some left over chicken for something else.

I also have been going to the gym. That is something I do for me. I love to workout. Yeah, most of the time it is really hard for me to force myself to go. But it is always worth it in the end.

I have breakfast and lunch and even a snack for tomorrow.
Breakfast will be cheesecake (yes, I said cheesecake) with strawberries (s)

Lunch is my left over dinner from tonight which is stir fry chicken over quinoa (e)


17 December 2016

Doing it all.....

I have to admit I am in a constant battle with myself over if I am doing enough. If you were to ask anyone looking at my life, I'm sure they would tell you that I do way more then I think that I do. Even my oldest made a comment about that I try too hard to do it all. 

From September 2015- September 2016 I worked 2 jobs. Most weeks working 40-55 hours. Many weeks I worked closer to 60, and December of 15 I think I had at least 1 70 hour week. Yeah it was a lot. For the most part I was able to make it work. Once I went full time at one job it became harder to work both jobs. A lot of different reasons went into me just working one job in September. 

About a month ago I was offered another second job. It sounded like I could really work it out. I worked twice, and then things just kinda fell apart. I got a bad cold, and it was working with food and I was coughing so bad. Then the next week my daughter with Lupus ended up in the ER with shingles. I have chosen to say good to trying again. 

I have to admit I have a love hate with not working so many hours. I have more time at home. I love being with my kids. I can do more for them. Yet, I feel like no matter what I do it isn't enough. There simply isn't enough time to get done all that I want in a day. There is endless amounts of laundry, never ending dishes, fights to end, hug and kisses to give and of course the ever want of something else to eat. Then on top of all that is my need to just have some down time. 

This week coming up I have most of the week off as I have vacation time that needs to be taken. I am looking forward to the time home. I have high expectations of all that I can get done and I hope above all hope not to disappoint myself. But I probably will. I will have to learn to be ok with that....

15 June 2016

My crazy life.... getting back to Trim Healthy Mama..

So for about 6 months last year I was doing really good, staying in the Trim Healthy Mama plan. Losing weight, having more energy, then I started working a second job. I basically stopped cooking all together. My daughter took over cooking for the family. I stopped eating foods I loved... broccoli roasted in coconut oil.

About a week ago I decided I had enough. All the weight I worked hard to lose I have gained back. So here we go again. This time though I have also added a gym membership. I know for a lot of working moms, they have no idea how to add that to their lives. For me, I know I have to. I have a heart condition and I need to workout so that my whole life is improved.

But this is all going to take time to prepare. I know cause Monday  night I didn't prepare for Tuesday and I ended up eating a small bag of cookies for breakfast. So today I am only working one job, so I am taking time to prepare for a couple days. While I am the only one in the family actually on THM, I do have to make sure that I make more food then what I need. You see my 12 year old son loves to try new things and has very rarely not found something I am eating not to his liking.

Today's menu.....
Eggs with butter (S)
Chicken with hot sauce with broccoli and green  beans roasted in coconut oil (S)
Stir fry over brown rice (E)

I'm pretty sure I'll have a smoothie for a snack a little later.

12 May 2015

Since I'm no longer waiting on God

to work in my ex-husband's life, I'm going to no longer post any updates on my other blog and will just be posting here, about my life.

17 January 2015

My Trim Healthy Mama

I admit that I have had a hard time staying on plan. The biggest reason that I don't stay on plan is the same reason that I think many of us fail to lose weight, we don't put a plan in place and just kind of wing the day. Then when hunger or stress comes we easily grab the first thing in sight. I know that has been an issue for me today.

This week though I have set up a plan for the next week. The hard thing will come with my work schedule. I won't be able to eat snacks as I should, so that by after work I'll be more hungry. I have come up with a couple quick things that I can run into the back of the store and eat.

So you maybe wondering what my menu looks like this week. One thing you may notice is that I eat a lot of chicken. For years now I have struggled with eating beef. I love the taste of it, but my stomach can't handle much, so I end up eating chicken most of the time. One difference this week will be that I'll make Egg Roll in a Bowl and I use beef.

(Please come back, as I plan on linking recipes)

Breakfasts.....
Yogurt with strawberries (E)
German Chocolate Cake Shake (S) I have not tried this yet.
Eggs and Bacon (S) yeah, I'm on a diet lol
Pumpkin Cream Cheese muffins (S) This is a staple for me when I have to start work early, I make them the night before and grab them as I go. I usually grab a couple for my co-workers, they like them too.

Lunch
Eggs with ham (S)
Sandwich on sprouted grain bread (E) I use lunch meat and veggies. I got out of using mayo years ago, so this is pretty easy to stay on plan with.
Pizza on a Josephs flat bread. (S) I tired this just this past week, it was yummy.
Lettuce Wrap Sandwich (FP)
Chicken Popper soup (S) A favorite of mine. I'll make a big crock pot of it and have it for days.
Egg Roll in a bowl

Dinner....
You'll see a couple recipes repeated from my lunch menu. My plan is to make enough for myself for a dinner and have it for lunch for a day or two.
Chicken with brown rice and broccoli (E)
Chicken Popper Soup (S)
Bacon Wrapped cream cheese chicken (S) I'll make a veggie to go with this.
Cauliflower Mac and Cheese (S)

I'm still working on snack ideas for the week.
One thing I should mention is that 95% of this will be made just for me. I do cook separate for myself then for my kids. For my home I have found it is just easier this way to do it. I do have kids that will eat some of what I make. My 10 year old for example loves the Chicken Popper Soup, but he really doesn't eat tons of it so I have plenty. I have also found that by not having to share my "special" ingredients with my kids, it helps me save a little money. I don't buy enough almond flour for all my kids, just for me, so I don't need a huge bag of it. Even my sprouted grain bread I buy then freeze. Although today I make myself a piece of toast, turns out the baby (19 months old) likes it.