This year, as most years are, has been a lot of change. Some of those changes are bringing me back to the beginning of the year.
The beginning of the year saw the store I had worked at for almost 5 years close. The friendships I had made became so important to me. Those that I worked with have become like a family to me. There are many others that worked there who will tell you that it was unlike any other place to work.
I have spent the bulk of 2019 working one job, a full time job that I like. But I continue to struggle financially so I will go back to 2 jobs. I want to make 2020 a year that I get this part of my life under control. It has started a little bit, but I will get better.
But I also must focus on finding the things that I once enjoyed just for myself. Things that I can use to express my emotions and better deal with my stress. I want to fill myself so that I have more to give those that need me the most. Instead of barely having anything and giving what little there is and leaving nothing for me.
I have a granddaughter in my life, I want her to want to get to spend time with Grandma Kayte. I want her to know the love I have for her and be a woman she can look up to.
I want my kids to get more of me. I want to be around to love them and show them that love.
There is crap I need to let go of, people I need out of my life. People that I have pushed out that I need to bring back in. I am trying to continue to push forward. Letting go of pain that has held me back.
