Do you not realize the payment for your sin has been paid in full. Grace has been extended. Yes, the consequences are often still there. But the prison you have confined yourself to has been unlocked. There is healing and comfort waiting for you, but it will not be forced on you. God will not make you take it.
Even if you do, and things don't become what you thought, and hard times still come and you are not given all you think you are due; are you then going to reject the good you have been given? See true blessings as a punishment?
God does not promise that life will be easy. He does not promise you will have earthly wealth. In fact we are told many times to expect trials and hard times. To not see earthly wealth as a blessing.
Jam 1:2 NKJV - My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
1Pe 1:6 NKJV - In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials,
2Cr 1:4 NKJV - who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Rom 5:3 NKJV - And not only [that], but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;
2Cr 6:4 NKJV - But in all [things] we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses,
2Th 1:4 NKJV - so that we ourselves boast of you among the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that you endure,