walking on faith

I'm struggling to know what that looks like.
I'm freaking out, I know I have to trust God. I just struggle to know what that looks like in my situation.

What is true and real

A few years ago I received the book Loving God with all your Mind by Elizabeth George from my dear friend Tonia. this book has changed my life.
For years I've fought depression. (I still have my moments) but the words - whatever is true... think about such things Philippians 4:8 have brought me out of depression many many times. So much of what I allow myself to get depressed about are things that I have no control over, are things that yes, could, happen but are not happening. I'm slowly learning to think only on what is true, real and happening now.
Another area in which I get tripped up is on the stupid things I have said or done in the past. Thinking on those things change nothing. I can't go back and change it.
Lois is now 5 months old (ok well tomorrow the 18th), while I have had moments of depression and moments of being overwhelmed, the depression has not been like it is has been in the past. I've been able to get out quick, sometimes after a nap.
Well that is my lesson on depression for today.

Mothering the detail orientated child

Ok, so my oldest child 13 going on 35, I mean 14 is a very detail orientated child. I've known this since he was little I admit. It was evident the day when he was 5 and was watching the Cubs game and had to walk out of the room for a couple minutes. Upon returning he asked what had happened. I replied oh so and so was up, and now there are 3 outs.
"Well, did he pop up? fly out? strike out? How did he get out?"
"Um, well," While I had watched I wasn't paying that much attention. I was not ready to give a play by play. I am not detail orientated. I prefer more general talk.

To me, don't hit your brother includes, not is not limited to, hitting, kicking, pinching, pushing, "taping", nudging, and general annoying of said brother. This does not mean that now other brothers are open season.

DO child needs it spelled out. If I say don't hit your brother he than push brother. When called on it, response is, "I didn't hit him, I pushed him." Ugh!

However this does make him a wonderful babysitter. He take great care of his younger siblings.

I'm not sure how we'll get through the next 4 years, but I know that God will guide me.

On being a mom of many....

Ok, so I'll be honest, I don't often think of my 7 kids as a lot. Yes there are moments. Like when I'm counting them at the end of bible study to make sure I have everyone. (Hate the feeling that I'm missing someone even though I know I have counted right.)

As a mom of many I often get the same type of responses. The comment I hear the most is, "You have your hands full." I'm never really sure how to respond. After the fact I'll think oh I should have said this or that.

As I was thinking about this blog I saw the commercial where the dad is holding the new baby and says something like "...it's not just about me anymore, I'm there." Yep that is motherhood (really parenthood) in a nut shell.

Being a mom isn't about what I want it is about putting the needs (and wants) of someone else before me. I see this in the am when all I want is to sleep, but I can't sleep cause I have a 2 year old crawling all over me. Than it doesn't get better when I drag myself out of bed and can't even drink my coffee while it is still hot.

Yes, there are days when it is trying and hard to get all that needs to be done done. I'm so thankful for God's grace and mercy. I'm thankful that I have a husband who fully supports me and loves me and our children. He knows there are times I just need to cry or get away. Sometimes I just need a hot cup of coffee. :)

Do I have my hands full? Sure. There is very little time when all is just quiet and I'm not needed to do something or listen to someone. I couldn't imagine living without all the noise and activity. I love it.

Little Blessings

Ok, so my mind is churning. I have several blogs floating in there. I have one that I'm sure will ruffle some feathers, but I'll leave that one for another day. Today I'm feeling thankful for so many little blessings that I think I shall share that.

As I sit and type there are several things going on around me that I'm thankful for.

I'll start with my computer. Hasn't God given men a great mind that someone thought this up, and built it. Than went on to keep changing it to the point that people can have them in their homes and they can all be connected. It has even gotten to the point that one can connect to the internet from a phone. I'm glad that I don't have a phone like that LOL. That would be dangerous for me.

Next, as I type my arms are full. I have a sleeping 2 1/2 month old baby girl in my arms. There are so many things I could type about her that I'm thankful for.

There are also 6 other kids that I could blog about. In fact I was just doing that. I've decided that I will take another day and blog about each one of them separate.

Sitting near me on my computer desk (that I'm also thankful for- as my hubby got it at a garage sale for just $20) is my cup of coffee. In my coffee is another of my thankful for things- chocolate. Not all that long ago I realized with these 2 simple things how much God loves us in the little things. Coffee and chocolate are not items that are needed in my life. They don't add to my faith, they don't add to my godliness, yet God has given them to me for my simple little pleasure.

In bed is my sleeping hubby. Again I'm sure I could go on and on about all the things I am thankful for about him, but the first thing that comes to my mind is that despite all my rough edges, despite the fact that I can't keep a house clean, despite the fact that I'm not model thin- he loves me. He enjoys being at home with me and the kids.

I guess while all those things are great, there is one thing I truly couldn't live without- God. The fact that He chose to send His son to die for our sins in of it's self is awesome.

As I'm thinking of that fact alone I'm reminded of a saying from a godly women I miss dearly. I heard her often say "The garden didn't take God by surprise. Jesus' death was not plan B."


His mercy, grace, forgiveness, strength have gotten me through times in my life that I couldn't go on.

Well I could go on, but I think I'll make another pot of coffee and read a book.

promoting another blog

First, I want to say I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to live in this time of the internet. It is so wonderful to be able to get information and hear from people that one wouldn't be able to normally hear from.

I married my wonderful husband Dan over 16 years ago. After we got married we attended the church we got married in. Several years after we got married the pastor that I had grown to enjoy moved on to another church. I always liked that the sermons were not milk, but meat. Yet the gospel was always there too.

That leads me to my promoting of another blog. I was very thankful to find out that there was a blog written by this pastor.

He as blogged about true miracles and being prepared. You can read it at... maxgrace.

hello

first- i have been tagged. so i will do that first. 

1) Choose the 4th picture folder on my computer
2) Choose the 4th picture
3) Explain the picture
4) Tag 4 other people

so this is a picture of the bookcases/ toy cases in our living room. we live in a very small apt, and have very little storage. i have been blessed to have a friend who is a woderful organizer and she has helped me. this was her idea.

today i was listening to one of my favorite songs- ok it is my current favorite song. it is called "today is the day" and it is by lincoln brewster. it starts off "i'm casting my cares aside, i'm leaving my past behind, i'm setting my heart and mind on you Jesus."

i have to say the words- i'm leaving my past behind hit me differently. i often think of that having something to do with our pasts, our regrets, the things that happened yday to weigh us down. but it hit me- my doubts that i had just this morning or even 5 minutes ago, or 5 seconds ago are also my past that i need to leave behind as i set my heart and mind on Jesus.

i've struggled so much again in trusting God.  i keep seeing the little things getting answered, but the big things- rent money, are still not being answered, that i can see. so i keep on trusting and keep on believing and well that is all i can do.